Spinning Tires

There are certain seasons in our lives that we feel (or at least I do) that we are spinning our tires.  Running, running, running....and yet not getting anywhere.  Exhausted, frustrated, and stressed.  That's what it's been for me lately.  I feel like a marathon runner running and running wondering when the finish line is going to come into sight.  Sometimes  I wonder just where it is I am running to and if I am ever going to make it there. 

So today when I got home after a moment of frustration and a mild pity party, I was reminded of something I had shared in my 8th grade Religion class earlier today.  I had had the kids do a 2 week Bible Study to just get a feel for different books of the Bible and I shared some of my favorites.  I shared with them some of the funny things in the Bible like the She-bears in 2 Kings 2:23-25  and Paul calling the Galatians stupid in Galatians 3:1.  We had a good laugh and then I shared my favorite verse to go to when I need a reminder from the Lord.  Jeremiah 29:11-14a.:  

"¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity."

I shared this almost automatically with my class and it wasn't until about 8 hours and one (OK... two) good cries later that those words came back to me.  The Lord has a plan for me and it's a plan full of hope.  All He asks is that I come to Him prayerfully seeking His will with all of my heart.  And I realized that I have lost sight of that lately.  I am running and running and trying to produce results and I forgot who is the leader of my ship.  I have once again taken the captain's chair and didn't allow the Lord to guide me. 

I am so ready for the "next thing" in my life.  A husband, 2.5 kids, and a white picket fence are the fiercest desires of my heart.  But for some reason, God has me where I am in my life now.  I need to trust that.  I need to trust His plan and open my heart to His will.  I will continue to bring this prayer to His attention and listen for His promptings in the next step, but I need to abandon my need to control situations and instead trust in the word I claim as my consolation.  In fact the Lord asked me just that when I prayed a Chaplet of Divine Mercy.  As I prayed the words, "Jesus, I trust in you..." I heard the Lord ask in the quiet of my heart, "Do you?" 

So it's time for me to put on the brakes for a minute, get out my road map to life (God's word), and reassess the path I am on.  And after some time of seeking and praying I am going to allow the Lord to guide me once again to the path that He has laid for me.  I think I will consider the passenger seat for awhile and take in the sights and sounds of the current day.