Happy New Year!!!

Many of you might be surprised that the title of this post is "Happy New Year!" but for teachers around the world this is indeed the start of a new year (a school year albeit, but a new year nonetheless.)  You will notice from the slow down in my recent posts that this is an extra busy part of my year!  People often question me on what it is that I have been doing these past 2 weeks to get ready for school!  The list is too exhaustive for this blog...but the work goes on and on....

But come Monday morning, it will be another school year for me and the students in my classroom.  Even as a kid this was always such an exciting time of year for me.  (Yes, I was one of those crazy kids that always wanted to go back to school.)  And so today I was thinking of a quote from one of my favorite movies, "You've Got Mail.  The quote goes like this, "Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address."  Although the context of this quote it a little different, the idea is the same.  I love this time of year.  I love buying school supplies and setting my classroom up with fresh posters and new ideas.  All those things that didn't go well last year don't matter this year because this is a new year! I think for as long as I live my mind will think in school years and not calendar years.  The fall is the new year for me. 

And so today I got to thinking about this idea of being a new year.  Yes, it's a new year in the classroom for me, but this can also be the start of the new year in my personal life too.  Some recent events in my personal have caused me to stop and really reflect on many aspects of my life.  Friends, family, work, singlehood, my spirituality, and just the day to day stuff.  And I began to think about the status quo.  Sometimes, I have a tendency to be a status quo kind of girl.  The idea if it's not broken, don't fix it!  But I am realizing the status quo is a very dangerous place to be.  The status quo often translates into stagnate, lifeless, and just plain boring. Kathleen Kelly, again from "You've Got Mail" says the following in the movie, "Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void." That quote sums it up so well.  Have I been brave? Or have I allowed fear to shape me into being status quo?  There is a very cliche song in the children's movie "High School Musical" about sticking to the status quo.  The groups of the high school don't want the members of each little social circle to venture out of their own circle.  If you are a jock...you do jock things.  If you are a brainiac...you do brainiac things. (You get the picture, right?)  Anyways, I realized that I had decided to just accept what I was and stick with that.  BUT in doing that...I stopped exploring and seeing what it is that is out there waiting to be explored.

So as I begin another new school year, with a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils and fancy bulletin boards, I am starting a new chapter in my life as well.  I hope this chapter is full of fun, adventure, love (maybe even a little romance?), learning, and stretching.  I am working to step out of my little status quo box and step into unexplored territory. 

 

I hope you will all come along on my adventure!?

500

Today the counter on my blog showed the number 500.  Meaning...since July 18th 500 people have stopped by my blog.  This brought a smile to my face.  I am really enjoying writing this blog and sharing the thoughts that resound in my head.  I have appreciated the wondeful feedback, kind letters, and stamps of approval from all of you! It is touching for me to hear from so many singles who are in my same situation, but in the same breath I am thankful for the married people who have also sent their encouraging words.

So to my readers....thanks!!!  I hope you continue to read on and tell others too!! 

Love to you all!
Erin :)

Taking Off Our Masks

As children we often like to play pretend.  Little boys pretend to be cops, superheros, and cowboys.  Little girls dream about being princesses, teachers, and moms.  We loved to play dress up and enter the world of the super hero saving the world in a cape or the princess in the castle who had servants and beautiful shoes.   Somewhere in our childhood though, we grow out of the pretending and instead enter the more realistic adult world. 

But as adults, I don't think we give up all of our childhood ways.  In fact, many of us hold onto several masks.  I have noticed in myself and in a lot of others lately that we are afraid to go out without our masks on.  Our masks are different than our childhood masks.  These masks are often called "I have it all together", "I am not afraid", and "I am beautiful."  (just to name a few)  Many of us have masks that were created from wounds of our earlier lives.  And so each day we go out with our masks on in order to cover up the real us inside.  We would be mortified if someone saw the real us and we are afraid of the rejection we may face if we do.

As singles, I think we are especially guilty of wearing masks.  As we search for Mr. or Mrs. Right we put on our most flashy and brilliant masks.  We do not want to appear too sensitive, too insecure, high maintenance, selfish, or moody.  We have read the articles and books, and we are desiring to be "the woman/man" that he/she is looking for.  "How could anyone really like me if they knew that like this or that....or act this or that way?"  And so we mask up. 

I have noticed times in my life that I struggle with putting on my masks.  And although I am getting better at taking the masks off one by one, I still struggle with keeping my masks on.  I am working to allow the real me to shine through.  I am realizing though that taking off my masks may mean losing a few friends and gaining a few others.  Taking off my masks may mean sticking up for myself and not being a doormat for others to step on.  Taking off my masks though ultimately means taking a good look in the mirror at myself and learning to love the real me as well.  Sometimes, the masks we wear, are not for others, but they are for us.  Those masks cover the things we don't like about ourselves.  By taking off those masks we have to deal with those "ugly" parts. 

Part of my conquest in embracing the single life is embracing me for me.  Learning to see the beauty in God's creation that is me.  It's scary and it's hard...but I believe in the end, I will be happier living my life mask free.  I am learning to love the real me, and not to hide that me for others to see.  And as far as Mr. Right goes...I figure, it makes more sense to me that I allow Mr. Right to fall in love with the Real Me rather than the fake me, because eventually the real me is going to shine through and I want him to love me for me. 

I will end this post by quoting the musician JJ Heller's song "What Love Really Means"

"Who will love me for me

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me

‘Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means"

Going Beady!

I wrote a few weeks ago that I had been given the opportunity to go to World Youth Day in Madrid, Spain next year.  I also may have mentioned that it's going to cause me quite a pretty penny and so I had to start thinking of ways to supplement my humble Catholic school teacher salary.  Being a teacher and a tutor is already time consuming, so the thought of another job was overwhelming me and so I had to allow my often underused right side of my brain to think.  (I am normally a total math brain...)  I remembered that my mom made these beaded serving pieces a few years back and I absolutely loved them.  I decided that maybe (much to my crafty mother's delight) to give my hand at beading spoons and other serving pieces.  And guess what??  This left brained math teacher actually loves it!!  And...I have already had several orders since I have begun making this in early August! 

One of my goals as I began this blog and this new single life was to experience new things.  I didn't see this one coming, but I am realizing that I really enjoy creating these pieces.  There is much enjoyment for me to search out the pieces, choose the colors, create the unique designs of each, and then to admire their beauty when I am all done.  Creating these serving pieces has brought a little bit of joy to my days and nights.  I love working on them while I am watching TV at night or over a cup of coffee with my sister-in-law who has joined in my creations.  Who would've thought?  My poor mother has tried for years to get me involved in crafting with her, and I never really got excited about it, but now I am realizing that I really do enjoy it.  These sparkling little pieces have brought a new satisfaction to my life. 

And so I am inspired to continue to try new things that come into my life.  It's amazing the simple joys that are waiting out there to bring a little sunshine into our lives.  I am looking forward to encountering these rays of sunshine more often!

Close to His Heart

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states :  (1658) We must also remember the great number of single persons who, because of the particular circumstances in which they have to live - often not of their choosing - are especially close to Jesus' heart and therefore deserve the special affection and active solicitude of the Church, especially of pastors. Many remain without a human family often due to conditions of poverty. Some live their situation in the spirit of the Beatitudes, serving God and neighbor in exemplary fashion. The doors of homes, the "domestic churches," and of the great family which is the Church must be open to all of them. "No one is without a family in this world: the Church is a home and family for everyone, especially those who 'labor and are heavy laden.'"


Did you catch that? (Hopefully the bold letters helped you...) Single people are especially close to Jesus' heart?  Wow....I think it's amazing that the Bishops of the Catholic Church felt inspired by the Holy Spirit to include that statement in the Catechism.  (For all of you non-Catholics, the Catechism is kind of the "everything you ever wanted to know about being Catholic and how Catholics stand on most issues" book.)  In our current society, being single is often frowned upon.  How many woman's magazines for teens and young adults have titles such as "How to land a man in 30 days," "How to tell if he's into you or not", "Online dating"...and so on, and so forth.  Even within our church being single isn't necessarily looked down upon, but it certainly isn't celebrated.  Each year I take my students down to the local seminary for a Vocations Day.   The seminary puts on a great program and does a great job of talking about a vocation to the priesthood, married live, and religious orders, but besides a slight mention of being a consecrated single, nothing is mentioned about the single life.  But we are special to Jesus....held close to His heart, and yet no one seems to know what to do with us singles....temporary or consecrated... the single life, is a good life....but just don't bring it up! ;)

A friend of mine had recently told a struggling single that the vocation to the single life needed to be celebrated and embraced!  There are roles in this world that we as singles (without attachment to a husband, children, or religious community) are able to fill that others just are not.  There are opportunities we are able to take and positions to fill that married men and women are unable to.  We are able to fully dedicate our lives to the Lord, while priests have to give of themselves unselfishly to the church, just as married couples have to also be dedicated to their families.  I don't mean any insult to these vocations by any means, but I think it's important for us as singles to realize that we too have things to celebrate our livelihood.  (Talk to any mother of 3 young kids who would do anything to get out of the house for the night.)

I think it's time for the church to really celebrate the call that some may have to be single.  For some people that call may be short, and for others that call may be for the rest of their lives here on this planet.  We need to recognize and encourage the singles we know to live fully their life now.  In addition to the blind dates and social engagements...our married friends and church families need to embrace us and help us as we walk this special walk.

I am encouraged today by the initial statement.  It helps me to appreciate that my current state in life isn't a punishment or a waiting room of sorts, but rather this is a time in my life that God has a special plan and purpose for.  He has something for me to do...to live out those Beatitudes...to go out into the world and bring my joy to others.   And so my purpose is once again revitalized and I know that I am never too far from the heart of God as I live. 

Hail Holy Queen

Today in the Catholic church celebrate the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary and as any good Catholic Parish does we closed the Mass with the famous hymn "Hail Holy Queen"  Now, I may or maynot have shared with all of you my background but two things in my past; 1. A convert from the Assembly of God faith where dancing in the aisles is completely acceptable and 2. A theater/singer enthusist challenged me as the song began.  You see, long before I was a Catholic and realized that this tune was a beautiful hymn to honor our Blessed Virgin Mary, it was first a song made famous in my life by none other than Whoopi Goldberg and the Sister Act cast.  (Perhaps some of my earliest experiences in the Catholic church come from this movie, which may be a good or a bad thing)  Anyways, today like every other time we sing this song I was once again tempted to shake my booty like Kathy Najimy (my doppelganger none the less) and sing my little heart out.  And although I decided to refrain, lest I scare the conservative Catholics, I did leave Mass wearing a smile where there was earlier a mild scowl.

Wanna watch Whoopi?  Click here!

I also was once again reminded that as we celebrate the Solemnity of the Assumption that not only is Mary, the Mother of the Lord, but she is also my mother.  And in addition to that she is the ultimate example of how I am supposed to live my life.  Although Mary was betrothed to Joseph, she understood how it was to be a single woman who was determined to remain pure and chaste for her Lord.  Imagine the struggles she went through when the people of her town learned that she was pregnant and not yet married?  She was certainly talked about at the well among all the women and scorned possibly by those who loved and knew her.  She could've defended herself or shared her secret, but instead she quietly accepted God's will for her life and remained sinless.  Sometimes, as a single woman I feel judged by those same women at the well.  Yes, of course, the well is different and the venue may be a cell phone or email, but sometimes I wonder what people say about me and other singles.  31 and still not married?  Maybe she's gay (I'm not, I promise) Maybe if she lost a few more pounds. (A never ending battle, right?) She's too picky...wanting to marry a Catholic. She needs to put herself out there more. (At the bar? Or singles club?) 

Perhaps these are conversations I imagine in my head or maybe they really are happening.  But regardless, I am reminded today by this feast day that I have been called to be a woman of God and follow the footsteps of my heavenly mother.  Regardless of my understanding or desires, I am first and foremost a woman of God and I need to live my life that way.

"I am the handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to Thy will...."

Procrastination

A famous someone once wrote, "Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?"  I am sorry to tell you that this is often a reality in my life.  It seems that even with the best of intentions I can never break the habit of procrastinating.  Take today for example...my parents have been telling me they were coming all week, and yet there I was at 8:30am this morning washing sheets and running around...I finished mopping the floors just before they walked in.  The same thing at work...I am always the last teacher to turn my grades in when report cards are up.  I am the queen of procrastination. 


Sometimes as a single person I wish I had someone to help with the household chores.  For example, I HATE doing the dishes...I would die for a dishwasher or a person willing to do the dishes.  I would also love for someone who would be willing to put away the laundry.  I'll wash and fold  it...just put it away for me.  (That way it wouldn't say in a basket for weeks on end...)

Oh well...I guess one of the minuses of being single....:)

Heavenly Helpers

Although lately I have been having more good days than bad days, there still are days that I feel "off."  Today is one of those days.  I am pretty much stuck at home these days due to a lack of a paycheck and need to not waste gas until my first paycheck comes in again on August 30th.  I know some of you are reading this and thinking, "3 days stuck at home and you are whining?"  Well, I supposed it's all relative because for this extrovert sometimes too much time spent at home is not a good thing.  I get my energy from being around others and so living alone can be a struggle from time to time.  BUT that is not why I am writing today.  (Phew, I know...you didn't want to hear me whine) 

Amidst my funk, I was reminded that there are people in heaven on my side ready to intercede for me at anytime.  Those people are of course the saints of heaven.  This is a highly controversial subject in the Christian world....with many Protestants arguing praying to the saints is a form of idolatry.  I, myself, even struggled with this idea when I came into the Church 6 years ago.  The Bible is clear when it speaks of the ramifications of idolatry.  But I soon learned that having the saints pray for you is different than praying to the saints, in the way we pray to God.  When times are hard or you need advice whom do you go to?  You parents (moms especially) and your friends right?  It's the same with asking the saints to pray for you.  Except these saints, and the ultimate saint, Mary, the Mother of God, are in heaven that much closer to God.  They have completed their time here on on earth and they are ready to intercede on our behalves and take those requests to the throne of God.  Now does this mean that we ourselves can't pray directly to God....of course not! But it brings me much relief to know that not only am I going to God with my prayer request, but I have a whole team praying on my behalf.  We see in Jesus's first miracle of turning the water into wine at the Wedding of Cana that He did so at His Mother's request.  She took the need of the wedding party to her Son, where He then supplied a far superior wine than was even requested. Who doesn't want to keep mama happy?

So, today when I was struggling to keep a smile on my face I took a minute to look up the patron saint of single women.  I read about St. Agatha, a woman who lost her life in order to remain pure before God.  I was encouraged by her story.  I found this prayer to her and said it knowing that today I have a special friend praying for me in heaven.  Taking my prayers to the throne of God for me.  And you know what that means?  I am not as alone as I felt.  That's why I love the Saints.  They have "been here, done that" and they know exactly how I am feeling today and so my prayer isn't dull or mindless, rather something that resonates deep within their hearts.

Prayer to St. Agatha

Lord God, you showered heavenly gifts

on the virgin Agatha.

Hear the prayers of those who recall her devoted life

and who ask her to intercede for them in their necessity.

(Mention your intention here...)

Help us to imitate her virtue during our earthly life

and enjoy eternal happiness with her in heaven.

Amen

If you would like to read more about St. Agatha, click here.

World Youth Day

A few months ago, I was talking to a friend about the fact that although I love my job as a Catholic school teacher, despite it's humble pay, I just wish I had more money to travel with.  I have especially been dying to return to Europe after getting a taste of it in both high school (3 weeks in France) and college (a week in Ireland)  My friend, a wise man, told me to ask God to provide a way for me to go.  Well, I did mutter a little prayer that night and every so often I would ask the Lord to provide a way for me to travel back to Europe. But to be totally honest...I didn't really have faith that God would provide me with travel plans to Europe.  Even though I teach my students that the Lord really wants us to come to Him with everything...that there really is no silly prayer request. I mean there are people starving, dying, and in major crisis, I didn't think that my wishes to travel to Europe ranked high on the Lord's to do list. I think my faith didn't trust that the Lord would provide if He saw fit. 

You can see where this is going, can't you?  Well, about a week ago, I received an email from a friend of mine on Facebook asking if I would be interested in going on a pilgrimage to Rome for a week then on to Madrid for the World Youth Day festivities.  Someone had dropped out and they had an extra spot available.  As I read her message I knew I was supposed to go.  I immediately was reminded of my muttered prayers I had offered up earlier in the year.  I met with the organizer of the trip and she said that earlier that day she had saw me on Facebook, a common occurence mind you, and she felt like she should ask me, but assumed that with my involvement in ministry around town had probably had a million invitations.  Little did she know....

So I am going...yes, it's going to cost me almost $4,000 to go and I am not sure just where that money is coming from yet, but I think the Lord is asking me to trust Him in this.  I have begun fundraising and looking at ways to save money already, and something tells me that somehow all the money will be there.  The Lord will provide. 

In the meantime, I am off to brush up on my Italian and Spanish! :)

Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes

This past week I spent time in Michigan's Upper Peninsula and in Northern Wisconsin.  Although I have lived in Michigan my entire life, I have only made it as far as a little past St. Ignace in the U.P.  So, this year as I made the 10 hour car ride with my parents to Mercer, WI (just south of Ironwood, MI) I was captivated by the beauty of the Upper Peninsula.  The beautiful forests, the mighty rivers and bubbling brooks, and not to mention the beautiful Great Lakes all captivated my attention and were quite breathtaking. 

Little Girl's Pointe- near Ironwood, MI

After my "epiphany" of sorts a few months back, one of my resolutions was to get out there and experience the world and so this summer I was able to do just that.  I went to Carmel, Indiana for a conference and loved the up and coming city with it's shopping areas and beautiful homes.  And I also fell in love with the Upper Peninsula for an entirely different reason, but thing is I experienced these two places and loved them despite their differences. 

Sometimes, as singles or perhaps just as people, we get used to our humble surroundings and forget that there is a whole world out there waiting to be explored.  Yes, I know traveling can get expensive and not all of us have the entire summer off to explore the world, but I have experienced that same joy when I go to a little coffee house in the city or walk around the Detroit Institute of Arts.  There is joy to be had when walking around your local park or nature trails.  What I am saying is that we have to be careful not to become so comfortable with our lives, that we miss out on all of the wonderful things that our world has to offer.  The nightly news sure loves to report all the bad in the world, but I think the greater story is all the great and wonderful things out there.

And so my quest continues.  This is going to be a year of experiences for me.  I can't wait to see all the is out there just waiting for me to explore!

Pants are Evil?

Yestereday I received an email from the group Catholicity and normally I just send such emails to the trash, but for some reason this one caught my eye.  It's an article trying to persuade women to wear skirts.  Now, I am 100% behind dressing modestly and dressing in a way that makes a woman look beautiful, without looking trashy.Yes, I think a woman in a nice dress or skirt (at least the ones that aren't too short or tight or both) definitely looks beautiful.  They do make some valid points and I think the writer's intentions are good, but I can't help and wonder... Isn't there a happy medium to be had out there?  Are all pants really evil?
For your reading pleasure and discussion. (Please note to my non-Catholic friends, this viewpoint is shared by a small number of Catholics and certainly not the majority.)


REGARDING NOT WEARING THE PANTS



Consider the following food for thought, rather than a hard-and-fast directive. Ladies, please, discard your pants. Instead, consider wearing comfortable skirts or dresses whenever possible, which means, in practice, in pretty much every normal daily circumstance. Consider the following:


1.Regardless of your size, shape, or age, the attractiveness of your female figure is virtually always enhanced, while adding to your modesty, when you wear a dress.

2. Do this for us, the minority of chaste men who merit the gift of enjoying your beauty in such a way as to be grateful to your creator without temptation. Make it so it is good for men to look upon you, rather than requiring us to look away (which is a tragedy).

3. The godless, sexed-up, secular fashion industry is out to make money and convince you that vice is virtue. They, and their damned pants, accentuate your flaws. If you think the fashion industry is about beauty, I have two words for you: The Seventies.

4. Sadly, and we understand you may not be aware of this, but almost every style of pants reveals private information about your figure (by way of contour) what only your husband (and if not him, no man, including your sons, if you have sons) should perceive.


5. Thus, even a woman endowed with the most spectacular genetic form, in the bloom of her youth, can be given the illusion of ugliness, if not cheapness, by wearing pants. Likewise, pants rarely do anything but exaggerate extra volume on our figures.


6. While some styles of pants can be attractive, in terms of beauty, pants will never trump a tasteful dress or skirt of similar material, pattern, and quality.


7. Furthermore, we must reject the counter-argument that pants are more comfortable; as a kilt-wearing Scotsman, your author roundly rejects this claim. In the immortal cry of Braveheart, dresses and skirts offer FREEDOM!


8. Of course, we defer and appeal to our male readers to make clear your moral clothing preferences to the women and girls within your realm of responsibility or influence.

9. We understand, ladies, that changing what you wear on a daily basis is a major change. If you forsake pants, it will be a big, big deal. Even financially, as pants are so commonplace that skirt and dress wardrobes may need to be rebuilt.
 10. Yet, ponder this: the biggest impact for upgrading to dresses may be the change in how you view yourself, and perhaps as crucially, in how you are looked upon and treated by men, which profoundly influences how you view yourself and your value.

11. Also, you, as a Catholic lady of dignity, are responsible for avoiding any practice or habit that increases the likelihood of being viewed as an object by men. You are also responsible for presenting the best, most beautiful, most chaste version of yourself to the world.

12. There is a myth that men determine the fashions women wear. In the depraved business sense, this is superficially true in the sense that clothing is often designed to appeal to the lower, if not lustful, appetites of men (and not all lower appetites are strictly lustful). In the day-to-day reality of the suburban lives most of us live, men almost always delegate the purchase of clothing to their wives. Women then make virtually all the fashion choices, mistakenly relying upon the opinions of other women (who know either too little or too much about how fashion choices affect men morally). Good women are always tempted to buy the styles they see other women and young girls wearing; inevitably everyone, men and women, are pulled downward by the undertow of the constantly lowered bar of our sexualized and superficial culture.


13. Do not misunderstand us: we have no problem with men delegating clothing purchases to their wives; we only object to men who abandon the responsibility they have to guide and influence the moral, psychological, and practical implications of clothing that is purchased. Men should set the highest standard for their wives and daughters in this respect.

14. May we suggest (or perhaps you wives and daughters might suggest) that your husbands and fathers take you shopping for the expressed purpose of choosing everyday clothing for you. Men, for your part, be sure your women love the choices you make with them. No woman or girl can deny that there is a superb and wonderful emotional benefit to donning an outfit that was chosen to enhance your beauty by your beloved husband or devoted father. Ladies, when he chooses an outfit for you, you know beyond doubt that in his eyes, you are beautiful in it. As a rule, men abhor shopping, but in our experience, this practice proves the exception if the man is the final arbiter on fashion choices.


We hope we have provided you with food for thought in your discussions with your loved ones. As for men's fashion, we have one word: Jacket.