As children we often like to play pretend. Little boys pretend to be cops, superheros, and cowboys. Little girls dream about being princesses, teachers, and moms. We loved to play dress up and enter the world of the super hero saving the world in a cape or the princess in the castle who had servants and beautiful shoes. Somewhere in our childhood though, we grow out of the pretending and instead enter the more realistic adult world.
But as adults, I don't think we give up all of our childhood ways. In fact, many of us hold onto several masks. I have noticed in myself and in a lot of others lately that we are afraid to go out without our masks on. Our masks are different than our childhood masks. These masks are often called "I have it all together", "I am not afraid", and "I am beautiful." (just to name a few) Many of us have masks that were created from wounds of our earlier lives. And so each day we go out with our masks on in order to cover up the real us inside. We would be mortified if someone saw the real us and we are afraid of the rejection we may face if we do.
As singles, I think we are especially guilty of wearing masks. As we search for Mr. or Mrs. Right we put on our most flashy and brilliant masks. We do not want to appear too sensitive, too insecure, high maintenance, selfish, or moody. We have read the articles and books, and we are desiring to be "the woman/man" that he/she is looking for. "How could anyone really like me if they knew that like this or that....or act this or that way?" And so we mask up.
I have noticed times in my life that I struggle with putting on my masks. And although I am getting better at taking the masks off one by one, I still struggle with keeping my masks on. I am working to allow the real me to shine through. I am realizing though that taking off my masks may mean losing a few friends and gaining a few others. Taking off my masks may mean sticking up for myself and not being a doormat for others to step on. Taking off my masks though ultimately means taking a good look in the mirror at myself and learning to love the real me as well. Sometimes, the masks we wear, are not for others, but they are for us. Those masks cover the things we don't like about ourselves. By taking off those masks we have to deal with those "ugly" parts.
Part of my conquest in embracing the single life is embracing me for me. Learning to see the beauty in God's creation that is me. It's scary and it's hard...but I believe in the end, I will be happier living my life mask free. I am learning to love the real me, and not to hide that me for others to see. And as far as Mr. Right goes...I figure, it makes more sense to me that I allow Mr. Right to fall in love with the Real Me rather than the fake me, because eventually the real me is going to shine through and I want him to love me for me.
I will end this post by quoting the musician JJ Heller's song "What Love Really Means"
"Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means"
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