The Difference a Year Makes

A year ago yesterday I wrote my first entry on this blog.  (Click here to read it.) I am absolutely flabbergasted by the difference in my life in one year.   I had just read the book "The Thrill of the Chaste" by Dawn Eden, in which I have mentioned several times before as the book that began my journey of transformation this past year,  and suddenly I had a whole new perspective on life.  It was as if my muddy shaded glasses fell off and suddenly I realized that there was this whole world out there for me to be a part of, single or otherwise, and I was missing it because frankly I was obsessed with getting married.  I had no idea at the time that my life as I knew it would suddenly never be the same!!

In the past 365 days I have accomplished the following: I lost 50 pounds on Weight Watchers and although my weight continues to be a struggle I have to fight day in and out, I am healthier today than I ever can remember.  On that same note, I got my first gym membership and ran my first 5K.  Losing weight and getting active has changed me obviously physically...I finally get to shop in the "normal" size department and don't have to limit myself to the plus size assortments.  Just a few weeks ago I also hiked from the lower Tahquamenon Falls to the Upper falls...covering roughly 5+ miles of rough terrain and umpteen steps.  It was a great accomplishment again for me both physically and mentally. 

Besides experiencing the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, Indiana, and Florida this past year, I also began to prepare for another really important journey.  In just a few weeks I will be heading to both Rome, Italy and Madrid, Spain to experience a trip of a lifetime!  It took lots of hard work, fundraising, extra work, and a few tears to get me on this trip, but I am finally days away from experiencing Europe once again and seeing the Pope for the first time! 

I finally decided to conquer (or begin conquering I should say...) another mountain in my life...cleaning and organizing! In February, a good friend of mine came over and just as I was shedding pounds on my body it was also time to shed the stuff that cluttered my life.  I began to get rid of clothes, books, decorations, and much, much more.  I am definitely still a work in progress in this department, but I realized that I was worth having a nice house.  I realized that I was a much happier person when my surroundings were in order.  And so I decided not to accept my messy tendencies and decided to face my issues head on.  I love my simplified surroundings and the peace it brings me when my house and especially my bedroom are in order.

I finally began to become the person I always wanted to be. I learned to love myself and accept myself for who I am.  It wasn't easy and I learned a whole lot about who I am and what is great about myself and what maybe isn't so great.  And finally I learned that I was capable of being loved for me.  Loved not because I was a size 2, said the right things, did the right things, and had the right clothes, but rather I was capable of being loved "just the way I am." (Thank you Bruno Mars)



And it finally happened....

Holy Saturday of this year, I went on the long awaited, highly anticipated first date in what seemed like an eternity.  The entire story will have to come at another time, but for now I will say that a man's path, travelling on a path very similar to mine and practically within reach of me for many years, finally crossed my path and 3 months later we find ourselves very happy and dreaming of a future together.  We both had been praying and allowing God to transform us for many years and suddenly it seemed that our time of waiting was finally over.  For the first time in my life I feel the love and acceptance I have desired for years from a wonderful man named Tom.   Tom has been the answer to my prayers in so many more ways than I ever dreamed imaginable.  He has shown me the beauty to my soul and what true love means.  He is the quiet and calm counterpart to my wild and frenzied personality.  He makes me laugh and makes me feel safe and cared for.  He makes my life something wonderful and great!!  He truly is the answer to my deepest prayers.

But Tom couldn't have been a part of my life unless I first began this journey of learning to love myself and allow the Lord to mold me and make me into the woman I was destined to become.  I wasn't ready to love and be loved a year ago, and I realize now that I am finally there.  I have so much more to learn, and change, and grow into, but for now I am glad to experience this mutual love and relationship. 

And so it is with a glad heart that I write this blog one year later.  It has been a remarkable year full of surprises, achievements, and love from so many different levels.  I can't wait to see where the next year takes me...

Stay posted....<3